|Genre||Melodic Gothic Metal|
|Release Date||1 Mar 2019|
It’s not often I find it truly aching to finish listening to an album, but fuck me is this one rough. Between the terrible mixing and the lazy songwriting, it’s difficult to pinpoint where exactly Ready to Run goes wrong. I haven’t heard Leviathane’s first record (and I pray the gods never make me), so I have no scope what these guys are capable of, but, judging by this record, it’s not very much.
Sometimes you can give a band a bit of a pass (or at least mercy) because they’re just having fun playing with their buddies and don’t care too much about pitch or production quality or music at all, but there’s no sign of joy or cohesion here. You expect a certain level of simplicity in gothic metal, but this is something else. Sometimes it sounds like they really tried to make intricate music, like in ‘Amnesy’, but it ends up being a mess of parts that neither complement each other nor go together. Also, I don’t know what the fuck these guys did to piss off their keyboard player, but every one of the background parts fight hard with the rest of the band.
Going along perfectly with the rest of the musical aspects, the soloing in this album is also numbingly simple. When I was a kid, I played trombone in my middle school jazz band. I remember playing a solo for ‘Louie, Louie’ and thinking to myself, “I’m playing all of the notes in the blues scale at complete random, so why the hell does it sound like garbage?”. The point is, I then realized that solos are not, in fact, random notes played on random beats: a lesson Leviathane seems to not quite have grasped.
Another huge issue with Ready to Run is the intonation. How in the world can you possibly release an album and not redo the parts that sound like crap? Is it on purpose? For Christ’s sake, the VERY FIRST SENTENCE in ‘Why’ (which starts out promising, by the way.) is so far out of tune that I thought it was going to be a Middle Eastern tune. But, nope, Cornelia was just looking all over the god damn place for the right pitch.
The things keeping this record from being a one are few, but they’re there. Thomas Kuni’s drumming is actually good, and at some points, great. He lays down some cool fills here and there and his grooves are by far the most complex element of the album. It seems like he tries his hardest to bring the band together, but there’s so much dissonance and poor playing that his efforts are all but wasted. There is also a decent solo in ‘To Close In’.
There haven’t been many things that have had me so Ready to Run the fuck away, but this record does a damn good job at that. To save you an hour of your life, I’ll give you a bit of an analogy so you get a clearer idea of this album: imagine that insufferable bimbo you know (but can’t get her out of your life because she’s your partner’s best friend or something, we all know one of those) decided to go make a metal record with some middle-aged guys she met at the liquor store who never got anywhere in life but blame it on the illuminati school system rather than their rampant and excessive heroin use, who then proceed to record it on a voice recorder. That’s basically what this is. Enjoy.
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